Journal Challenge Response, January 2007


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Journal Challenge 2007: By Tess Martinez

I would like to introduce you to our first Challenge entry submitted by Eustacia "Tess" Martinez. Tess currently resides in the Philippines with her family and is a devout servant of the Lord Jesus. Be sure and read her comments on other post. They will touch your heart.

 

In Her Own Words

Brenda, I would like to thank you for calling me you new friend. It sounds so very sweet. I welcome it with so much joy in my heart. Thank you also for encouraging me to write. It is really my dream to write and be published. Maybe I can get back to my journals of long ago. You see, the many challenges I’ve been through gave me a lot of material to write about. They have been and are like sandpaper refining my personhood. I’ve read many books and listened to many talks about our faith.

 

Let me introduce myself in a more profound way. I am 58 years old, mother of four and grandma of 2. I spent my childhood in the country and was gifted with a good opportunity of living in the city after my university days at the University of Santo Tomas in Manila.

 

Not much as a career woman can be said about me since I spent my best years raising our four children and staying home as a full time mother and wife. This was and is quite a privilege I might add.

 

My personal relationship with the Lord is central to my life and my ultimate goal is union with Him in Eternity. I am praying that you will be my mentor in my dream to write. I believe getting to know you is in God’s plan for me. May God bless our journey with Him?

 

Journal Challenge Love Letter to the Father from Tess Martinez

 

Years of Challenge

Fifty-eight long years of journey and roller coaster rides towards spiritual maturity. The years behind were full of challenges. How I survived was one miracle and outpouring of God’s infinite love and mercy. A troubled heart and concern for earthly survival had been the main concern of many years.

 

Where did I get my strength to go on? There were many revelations and discoveries. There were many attempts to lead a quiet life but most of the time in vain. Always, the word involvement to higher goals of walking with someone in his journey towards God is there. It seems an endless ritual.

 

The prompting is very strong. I must be involved to make life more meaningful. I can’t live a life centered on my own, for indeed the call to live and serve has always been a haunting challenge.

 

My Desire

The desire to be better is there but the steps towards being better seem stony and uphill. It is indeed a hard climb.

 

Is being simple and living an isolated life from the noise of the world the answer? The more I tried to live and isolate myself, the more the opportunity to get involved arises. At the end of the road is always a challenge. A new beginning, a new journey and always filled with others to walk through.

 

Situations just will present themselves and there is always the temptation to back out. A sign of cowardice? By grace, the will to go on comes very strong. The will to survive is always dominant. Ah! God must be all along at my side. The angels must be there to give me strength. There is always a new avenue for growth and new challenges.

 

Destiny

Am I destined to do more to make life more meaningful? Do I have to convince myself there is more in my person that I have not been developed to the fullest? A lot of soul-searching is all I need. Some peace and quiet. Moments to reflect…

 

But wait…am I not special to my own Creator? Am I not born into His very own image? Am I not His heir to His kingdom? Yes, I am. I must be special in the eyes of my loving God.

 

Counting My Blessings

Let me taste an inventory of my blessings. A dear husband, four loving children, an intense desire of excellence in motherhood… my eyes open to the beauty of nature, a forgiving heart, a heart full of gratitude, a heart full of compassion and a vision for a better world.

 

But Wait…

But wait… what do I lack and where am I weak? I better be honest with myself… simple obedience and humility will make me give an honest inventory of my human frailties.

 

Let me see…intellectual pride, cynicism, superiority, dominance, judgmental, impatience, quick temper, a sharp tongue, lying spirit, illusion of grandeur in my plans…

 

God Sees All No Matter What

No matter how I hide behind those masks, God sees me. I can’t hide anything but for sure if I make amends and ask for His loving forgiveness, He will make me as white as snow. I will be a new being ready to receive the outpouring graces of the Holy Spirit. Yes, a new dwelling place, God’s new possession.

 

Tess’s Prayer,

Lord, take possession of my own being and direct my thoughts, words and deeds that I may be pleasing to You. When I take a new skin then, I can stand with all my transcendence in front of my Creator and say Lord here I am, use me. I am at your service my Lord and Master. Amen

 

The Father’s Response to Tess

 

"My dear child, your urgent response to My call pleases Me. Your desire for the grace of hearty obedience and humility is so easy for Me to give you. How very pleased I am with you when you acknowledge your own frailties.

 

Little by little you are taking the path of humility and modesty… knowing your old self, that would have been difficult. But My dear little one, you did it. One little step at a time. Be not afraid, for My loving guidance will always be with you.

 

Take heart, I will always be with you in your journey and My love will see you through. I have so many plans for you. You will see them come to pass in the fullness of My time. Go on…My dear…go on."

 

Eustacia "Tess" Martinez Copyright 2007

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Brenda

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