Coping With Time Missed

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Another Lesson In Life By Tess Martinez

Our first grandson, Kenet, who is three months short of his second birthday, is a beautiful addition to our almost empty nest. My husband, Glen, has a very special fondness for him. Seemingly, he gives all his attention to this little bundle of joy. All he does, including his innocent mischief, precociousness and even meddling with his favorite carpentry tools amaze him. He even cuts his fingernails and dances with him to the tune of Barney’s, I Love You.

While Kenet was busy with his favorite TV Disney Channel show, I asked my husband why he is so attentive to him. He said, “Maybe I am making up for lost time with Ken,” our second son. I knew how busy Glen was during the early years of our marriage. There were even Sundays when he had to work due to deadlines and of course additional income to provide for us. This, I understand, as I needed to stay home and take care of our growing four children.

I can’t figure out if there is regret in his heart as a father. I am praying he will not take upon himself the fact that in his early twenties our second son became addicted to drugs, a dependency which we as parents bravely accepted and faced with God’s help. It was one of the dark moments in raising our four children. It was the least expected of a family who served the renewal community with all selflessness.

As co-dependents, we learned to accept by the grace of God, the situation which to others could be irreversible. In our hearts, nothing was or is impossible with God. In our weakness, God’s power is made perfect. Ken knows Psalm 23 by heart and as his mother I cling to the promises of the Psalm. Other peoples’ views of our situation didn’t matter to us. It was one point in our community life where we felt so alone. There were just a few compassionate hearts that emphasized with us over the agony we experienced. Our social life was the least of our priorities.

Tagaytay, a mountain city of retreat houses and scenic Taal volcano nestled within a lake, became more meaningful to us. Prior our son’s struggle we usually went there almost every weekend to unwind. Our time of unwinding gave way to visiting our son twice a month to show our unconditional support. Our hearts were torn between our other three children and the one who went astray. We couldn’t allow the other three suffer the brunt of the mistake of one. We needed to balance our attention on all four.

It was decided from the very beginning of this journey that we would join hands as a family in recovery. It was one beautiful moment when we confirmed the fact that we did not totally fail as parents. All three children were very compassionate and understanding to our plight. It was made clear there will always be four of them. I thank my eldest son and my two daughters for ably supporting us emotionally.

My youngest daughter said we just passed the cross road of our family life. She touched our hearts with these encouraging words, “Mom, our prayers will sustain us. Don’t worry. I asked my friends to pray for us. The nuns in school promised to pray for us too.”

We never missed eating out together, less one, on many occasions. In between the agonizing wait for our son’s rehabilitation were three birthdays, an anniversary and two graduations. I tried my best to put all things in the right perspective. My attitude was composed and joyful. It was a balancing effort to reward and to celebrate with the strong and to be supportive of the weak. It gave me a clearer understanding of the Parable of the Prodigal Son.

All seemed quite normal, though inside me I was hurting. I began questioning myself. Where had I gone wrong as a mother? I felt the world crushing down. Praying was very difficult. I began asking God, “Why us?” I begun shying away from the renewal community we cared so much for. We felt abandoned, but God never left us. I always assured our family of this. At least we knew who our true friends really were.

We lost our desire to work. Until one day, we all came to our senses, again by the grace of God and the prayers of the Pink Sisters community. The retreat house of our friend, Munting Bukal became a refuge, a sanctuary. Where were our so called friends? Nowhere to be found but fine JESUS was and is with us in all things.

My Baptist friend offered many prayers with their women’s group. I found strength from most non-denominational Christians. Love and faith knows no barriers. But, God is good. Our faith was put to test and God’s love sustained us. After 6 months, our son was again with us and we were back to our normal family life.

But oftentimes in my solitude, fear and anxiety would always pre-occupy my mind. The experience was indeed very humbling. It taught us to be more compassionate. No family is ever perfect. As I look back at that dark moment in our family, I can only say, GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN WITH US.

My prayer

Lord, keep young adults away from the fray of the enemy. Let them not be blinded by the lures of a deceptive world. Cover them with Your precious blood. Give parents who are in similar situations, the humility to accept and the courage to face the problem.

Allow Your sustaining grace to strengthen the weak and give courage to the fearful. Let every home be a little church. Cover each and every young adult with Your most precious blood. Make all the suffering dependents and co-dependents whole. Let them feel Your redeeming and unconditional love. Amen

Copyright 2007 Tess Martinez

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About the Author


Brenda Craig is a published author, prophetic teacher and Seer whose desire is to know the Lord in all His fullness. Her writings and teachings reflect a deep intimacy with the Lord. As a worshiper, Brenda has received revelation on how to take the simple act of ‚ÄúSoaking in His Presence‚ÄĚ to a new level and developed a teaching called Soaking with a Purpose.

One Response to “Coping With Time Missed”

  1. Tess,

    We have all lost out to time in some way or another, yet our God redeems the years the locust have eaten. He is faithful when we are faithless and His mercies are new every morning. I agree with you that God will use this story and your experience to help others. Let God arise and Your enemies and the enemies of all the afflicted be scattered.

    Blessings in Christ

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