Letter-writing prompts

A Letter to Someone You Lost

A letter to someone you lost is a place to say what is still on your mind. The person may have died, or you may have lost them to distance, time or a rift that never mended. Either way, the words you have for them don't stop just because the conversation did.

Many people find that writing to someone directly, using their name and talking to them as "you," lets memories and feelings come out more easily than a regular journal entry. You can share what you remember, what you miss, what you wish you had said and what you still carry from them. This letter never has to be sent, read aloud or shown to anyone. It can stay in your notebook for as long as you like.

These prompts are for reflection and are not medical advice, and if you are in crisis, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis line.

How to write it

  1. Choose a quiet time when you won't be interrupted, and keep a tissue or a glass of water nearby.
  2. Begin with their name, the way you would greet them in a card or a note.
  3. Pick one or two prompts below to get started, and let the letter wander wherever it needs to go.
  4. Write without fixing spelling or grammar, and stop for a break whenever you need one.
  5. Close the letter in your own way, with a goodbye, a thank you or simply your name.
  6. Decide afterward what to do with it: keep it, tuck it somewhere special or come back and add to it later.

Prompts and sentence starters

  1. The first thing I want to tell you is...

  2. What is a small, ordinary moment with this person that you still think about?

  3. I miss the way you used to...

  4. What would you want them to know about your life right now?

  5. I wish I had told you...

  6. Is there a question you never got to ask them? Write it here.

  7. When I hear your favorite song or pass a place we went together, I...

  8. What did they teach you, on purpose or by accident, that you still use?

  9. Something I have never said out loud is...

  10. If you could spend one more afternoon with them, how would you spend it?

  11. The part of you I carry forward is...

  12. How do you want to say goodbye for now?