Wellbeing

40 Shadow Work Journal Prompts

These shadow work prompts are for anyone who has snapped at someone and wondered where it came from, or caught themselves judging a stranger a little too hard. Shadow work, as many people use the term, means gently noticing the parts of yourself you tend to hide, deny or criticize: the jealousy you don't admit, the anger you swallow, the need you feel embarrassed to have.

Writing about these parts can help you notice your triggers, the habits you picked up long ago, and the qualities you see in others because they live in you too. The goal is not to fix yourself or dig up everything at once. It is to look with curiosity instead of blame.

Go slowly. If a prompt brings up more than you want to hold today, close the notebook, take a walk or come back another time. These prompts are for reflection and are not medical advice, and if you are in crisis, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis line.

All 40 prompts

Each prompt is marked quick (2 to 5 minutes), reflective (about 10 minutes) or deep (20 minutes or more).

  1. What is one habit you hide from the people closest to you? quick

  2. Which compliment do you find hardest to accept, and what do you say instead of thank you? quick

  3. What emotion do you tend to hide with a joke or a shrug? quick

  4. Name one trait you quickly judge in strangers, like loudness or lateness. What word comes to mind when you see it? quick

  5. When did you last say "I'm fine" when you weren't? What were you actually feeling? quick

  6. What is one thing you want but feel a little embarrassed to admit wanting? quick

  7. Which word did people use to describe you as a child that still follows you around? quick

  8. Think about the last time you felt jealous. What did the other person have that you wanted? quick

  9. What do you reach for, like your phone, a snack or a to-do list, when a feeling gets uncomfortable? quick

  10. This morning, notice one thought you wouldn't say out loud. Write it down without editing it. quick

  11. Write down one moment today when you reacted fast. What happened in your body just before? quick

  12. What is a rule you live by that you have never questioned? quick

  13. Pick someone who irritates you. List three things about them that bother you, then ask gently whether any of those show up in you, even a little. reflective

  14. Who do you admire a lot? What quality in them might be one you have but haven't let yourself use? reflective

  15. What part of your personality do you turn down around certain people, and who are those people? reflective

  16. When you were growing up, which feelings were welcome at home and which ones were not? reflective

  17. Describe a pattern that keeps showing up in your friendships or work, like over-giving or pulling away. When do you first remember doing it? reflective

  18. What do you criticize yourself for most often? Whose voice does that criticism sound like? reflective

  19. Write about a time you said yes when you meant no. What were you afraid would happen if you said no? reflective

  20. What do you most want to be seen as: kind, smart, strong, easygoing? What happens inside you when someone sees you differently? reflective

  21. Think of a recent argument. Write the other person's side as fairly as you can. What do you notice? reflective

  22. Which of your needs do you call "too much"? What would change if you called it ordinary instead? reflective

  23. What are you quick to forgive in others but slow to forgive in yourself? Or is it the other way around? reflective

  24. When you feel rejected, what is your first move: chase, shut down, get busy, or something else? Where did you learn it? reflective

  25. Describe the version of yourself you show online or at work. What does that version leave out? reflective

  26. What story do you tell about yourself when things go wrong, like "I always mess up" or "nobody helps me"? Where else does that story show up? reflective

  27. Write a letter to a part of yourself you usually push away, such as your anger, your neediness or your fear. Ask it what it has been trying to protect. deep

  28. Think of a hurt you still carry. Without excusing anyone, write about what that experience taught you to believe about yourself. deep

  29. What do you quietly believe you have to do or be in order to be loved? Write about where that belief may have started. deep

  30. Write about a time you hurt someone and haven't fully looked at it. What were you feeling then that you couldn't say? deep

  31. Imagine your younger self at the age when things first felt hard. What did they need to hear that no one said? deep

  32. Which emotion were you teased, punished or ignored for showing as a child? How does that emotion come out sideways now? deep

  33. Choose a trigger that comes up again and again. Trace it back: when did you first feel that exact feeling, and what was happening around you? deep

  34. What would you lose if you let go of an old grudge or resentment? Be honest about what holding on gives you. deep

  35. Write about a quality in a parent or caregiver you promised yourself you would never have. Where, if anywhere, do you see traces of it in you now? deep

  36. What dream or desire did you give up because it felt selfish, risky or unrealistic? What part of you still wants it? deep

  37. If the parts of yourself you hide could sit at a table together, what would they say to each other? Write the conversation. deep

  38. What would it look like to treat your hidden parts with the patience you would offer a close friend? Write about one small way you could start this week. deep

  39. Look back over your recent entries. What have you learned about yourself that you resisted seeing at first, and how does it feel to see it now? deep

How to use these prompts

Start near the top of the list, where the prompts are lighter, and move down only when you feel ready. Pick one prompt that makes you curious rather than one that makes your stomach drop. Give it five to fifteen minutes, or longer for the deeper prompts, and write by hand if you can. Many people find a quiet evening works well, with a cup of tea and the door closed. If you feel stuck, write the first sentence that comes, even if it is "I don't know," and keep going for three more lines. If you start to feel overwhelmed, stop, put your feet on the floor, notice five things you can see, and set the prompt aside for another day.

Download the shadow work prompt sheet (PDF)

Questions

What is shadow work journaling?

It is a way of writing about the parts of yourself you usually hide, deny or judge, such as anger, envy or old habits. You notice them with curiosity so you can understand yourself a little better.

What if a prompt makes me feel worse?

Stop writing, take a break and do something calming and ordinary, like stepping outside or making a snack. You can skip any prompt, and if heavy feelings stay with you, it may help to talk with someone you trust or a counselor.

How often should I do shadow work prompts?

There is no right schedule. Many people find one or two prompts a week is plenty, with lighter journaling in between.

Do I have to share what I write?

No. Your journal is yours, and you can keep it private or even tear out a page when you are done. Being honest is easier when you know no one else will read it.